Somewhere inside you, there’s *probably* a place that wants to make others laugh, probably. What if you were to do that, nonstop, a joke after the other, a laugh after another. Buzzers, how does that sound? Well, we’ll never get laughing unless we start! Let’s get to it! We’ve rounded up 15, all selected ~expertly~ by our also selected staff!
Let’s start with a little ~dark humour~ *cue maniac laugh*
- Parent: Make your bed. Kid: Why do I need to make my bed if I’m going to sleep in it again anyways? Parent: Why do I feed you if you’re just going to die anyways?
- Meghan: Hey, why didn’t you speak to me yesterday? Susie: I was at a funeral… Meghan: Oh….who died? Susie: My feelings for you
- Sally: What are you studying? Sally’s Childhood BFF: Music Sally: Wait…is this your first year? Sally’s Childhood BFF: Yes Sally: So…did you just move to Bristol? Sally’s Childhood BFF: No Sally: So you’re from Bristol? Sally’s Childhood BFF: Yes Sally: Wow, even Siri is more interesting to talk to…
- Friend: Dude, I saw your pin code at the ATM Friend #2: What is it? Friend: 1818 Friend #2: No, it’s 1515 dummie.
- Some kid: Why are frogs always so happy? Some other kid: They eat whatever bugs them!
- Mom/Dad/Guardian: Son, what does IDK, LY and TTYL mean? Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Mom/Dad/Guardian: Oh, it’s ok, I’ll ask your sister <3
- H = HALF O = OF M = MY E = ENERGY W = WASTED O = ON R= RANDOM K = KNOWLEDGE
- A parent a daughter are out Christmas shopping, the daughter asks, ‘What did you get me and Pixie?’, the parent replies, ‘An iPod and an iPad,’. ‘WOW!!!! Thanks so much! But what did you get dad/mom?’. ‘An iRon.’
- Girl: My Dad’s name is ‘Laughing’ and Mum is named ‘Smiling’. Teacher: You’re kidding! Girl: No, that’s my sister! I’m ‘Joking’!
- Mimi, a 5-year-old complained, ‘Mama/Papa, I have a stomachache!!! ‘Mom/Dad: That’s because it’s empty, let’s go fill it with something! After they’d eaten… Mom/Dad comes home… ‘I have a headache’, they complain. Mimi: That’s because it’s empty, you’d feel better if you had something in it!
- Teacher: Are you talking back to me? Student: That’s kinda how communication works…
- A teacher is sitting at their desk, shuffling test papers, the kids are nervous to see their results, finally, the teacher stands up, conveying a real non-sequitur. Teacher: Stand up if you think you are dumb. *kid stands up* Teacher: Why did you stand up? Kid: Well, you were the only one standing up, I didn’t want you to feel bad.
- Mom: I think I’ll name her Sarah. Doctor: Sorry, that name is already taken you can choose between Sarah_839 or SarahBlo21.
- Dad/Mom: We’ve been spending too much time apart on our mobile devices and we need some together time. Everybody log on to the family Facebook page.
- Son: Woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah woah Sister: *does the woah* Son: This is horrible… Son: The worse ever… Son: The deadliest for humankind… Son: The saddest… Son: It’s depressing… Sister: Ok ok we get it, what happened? Son: I lost my Batman glass… *dun dun duuuuuunnnnnnnnn*
Well, that’s your lot, tell us if you want more!!!
Laughs, funny texts and uproars,