Oh, we-ll, I did not expect to see you here! Hmph. Are you here for the human test? Oh, good. Wait a few minutes, we have some Jups coming in before. After you are a few Venes. Don’t worry. It’s only 2 hours. Plus, in Colanjar, you have absolutely no concept of time! Ahaha! Anyways, here’s a small file to read before you start. Salient. Don’t skip a single letter, and plus on Neptune, we’re more advanced than those polluting Earthlings. We detect where you eyes move from the paper, so, yep. Also, do you like my shoes? I put my hamsters in the heel the other day, do you like the little wheel? Haha, I programmed them to make it by themselves, anyway read the paper and see you later!
THE PAPER:
Neps Learnings Essent: How To Recognize A Martian
How/To/Recognize/A/Martian
-.. — -. .—-. – / … …. .- .-. . / .– .. – …. / …. ..- — .- -. … .-.-.- / — ..- .-. / . -..- – .. -. -.-. – .. — -. / .–. — … … .. -… .-.. . / .. ..-. / – …. . / .- ..-. — .-. . — . -. – .. — -. . -.. / .. … / .—-. .- -.-. …. .. . …- . -.. .—-. .-.-.- / -… . / -.-. .- .-. . ..-. ..- .-.. .-.-.- / … …. .- .-. . / .– .. – …. / -. — / — -. . .-.-.- / — .– -. . -.. / -… -.– / -. . .–. … / .-.. . .- .-. -. .. -. –. / .- -. -.. / .-.. . -. – .. -.-. ..- .-.. .- .-. … .-.-.-
- Have no hair.
- Nervous and self-conscious.
- Can be any colour. But not grey. Not anymore, at least…
- Own a robot.
- Obsessed with books.
- They don’t go to school.
- Despise society.
- Have perennial amounts of questions.
- They don’t believe anything anyone says.
- Impatient.
- Extremely irritable.
- Despise the ignorant.
- Feel superior to others (sadly, they lost against Urns because of that…)
- Hate animals.
- Like sitting down more than standing up.
- Scared of mirrors.
- Scared of floors.
- All have PTSD (they have it hard.)
- Hate the concept of IQs.
- Listen to metal (at least they have personality!)
- Have humor that is so dark it is macabre.
- Like creepy things, but not mirrors. NO mirrors…
- Like looking at skulls (real ones…)
- Up until they turn 8, they think they are actually cactuses (hey, they have those antennas to make up for it! *shrugs*)
- Angry at Earth.
- 69% are astronomy virtuosos.
- 30% is obsessed with physics.
- When they turn 29, they become foul-mouthed.
- Believe humans are Altocumulus undulates.
- They aren’t humans.
End.
FILE fiNisHed.
.. – / .. … / – .. — . / ..-. — .-. / -.– — ..- .-. / .- .–. .–. — .. -. – — . -. – .-.-.- / .- -. -.. / -.– . … –..– / .– . / …. .- …- . / -… . . -. / .-. . -.-. — .-. -.. .. -. –. / -.– — ..- / – …. .. … / .– …. — .-.. . / – .. — . .-.-.- / – …. . / — .- .-. – .. .- -. / .-.. .. ..-. . / .. … / …. .- .-. -.. .-.-.- / .- -. -.. / .–. .-. .. …- .- -.-. -.– / .. … / — -. .-.. -.– / ..- -. .- …- .- .. .-.. .- -… .-.. . / …. . .-. . .-.-.- / .– — .-. .-. -.– / -…- / -. — .-.-.- / .–
Also,
It is time for your appointment. And yes, we have been recording you this whole time. The Martian life is hard. And privacy is only unavailable here. Worry = no.
APPOINTMENT HAS COMMENCED.
xxxxxx
TheBuzz Team
Recognized one yet?
looking back, this was an extremely weird article…
btw i have come from the future